The Other Side of My Brain

My name is Chris, born in 1984. I live in beautiful SoCal and have so for most of my life. I love sports, music and my family and friends. I wasted two and a half years of my life in a relationship that was doomed from the start, but I stuck around because I was hopelessly in love. She was not, so I guess this is my story of new beginnings. Back to square one, which can only lead to some new fun!


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The Summer Shit Show

Man, where to begin.. Looking back on my 29 years on this earth I have been privileged to life quite an exciting life. So many insane memories, and trust me there are both good and bad. This is the beginning of the trip down memory lane. This is not in chronological order, but it is a series of events that have happened in my life that has really shaped who I have become today.

I decided to start with a story that takes place during the summer of 2006 in the city of Tehachapi, California. That summer I decided to leave my job at the Vans Skatepark, a place that I loved but looking back was really talked into leaving by my girlfriend at the time. My time at Vans was so special to me because I worked their from the age of 18 to 22 and that is an important time in a persons life. It is the point where you start to grow up, and shift into the personality you will carry with you for a long time. Leaving Vans was a decision I regret to this day, and I am sure my life path would be completely different if I stayed.

So I didn’t leave Vans without a short term plan, and that at the time was working as a skateboard instructor at a action sports summer camp. This place was amazing, and as someone who spent my time skateboarding it was one big playground. The pay was horrible, one hundred dollars a week, but the camp did cover 3 meals on site and a place to sleep. Mind you the meal on site was camp food so my stomach could only take so much of it. But the key was the sleeping situation, and week to week we held our collective breathes.

There were two options when it came to this: you either got to stay in a hotel a half mile away where you could find a gathering that involved smoking pot and drinking all night, or you were forced to supervise the campers in a cabin and had to be in bed by 10:30. The latter was not the worst thing that could happen, but at the time I was not thrilled with having to make sure a bunch of 12-16 year olds stayed in line. You see the camp also had a gymnastics camp so hotel time involved their coaches who were female. I only spent 7 weeks working there during the summer and would go for no more than 2 weeks at a time. In the end I only spent two weeks in the hotel.

It was a three and a half hour drive each way, so thankfully a friend *Ryan* decided to join me in working at the camp. Every drive from Orange County to Tehachapi would be an adventure, as at the beginning of summer I was too lazy to pay to renew my license so it was recently expired. Throw in the fact that Ryan would bring a couple ounces of weed to sell to the other instructors and the drive became exciting. Those drives were a lot of fun looking back. We would smoke a few joints mixed in with the cigarettes, enjoy the random scenery of the Mojave Desert, and listen to music and stand up.

The first 4 weeks I was in the cabins, and Ryan was the lucky bastard that got to stay at the hotel. When playing counselor my days were pretty set. First I would get the kids up and ready to head to breakfast by 7:30 so we could be first in line for food, which trust me they were not thrilled about waking up at 6:45. Then I would scarf down the food so me and Ryan had time to smoke a bowl before we had to start stretches. The mornings were where we did our group lessons, and each day we would hit 3-5 different parks on site. Each morning you had two options, you could either be in the air conditioned indoor facilities which included foam pits or stuck outside in the 100 degree heat. Since the parks were wood or concrete with no shade, being outside was brutal most of the time.

We were only required to sleep in the cabins from Sunday-Thursday, so we went pretty hard on the weekends. Some of the volunteers lived in town, so we would go parties at random peoples houses when we stayed in town for the weekend.
With all that being laid out, we should just move along in our story….

It was mid August and the summer was winding down, and of course my girlfriend had managed to find a companion in the few weeks I was gone. She will always be an attention whore, and if someone isn’t paying attention to her she will find someone to keep her occupied. This girl ruined my life from 22-25, but we will get there eventually.

Well it all started with our second to last weekend at the camp, and an invite to a party with a bunch of local girls on a Friday. Normally this would be game on, but I was a cabin counselor this week which meant I needed to stay on site Friday night. Saturdays mornings were fun, but only because these rich parents would tip you for hanging out with their kids for the week. I honestly enjoyed hanging with the kids, so it was just a bonus for me.

Well earlier this particular week we decided the few of us that were in cabins would sneak out to go to a big house party that Friday, and that was probably the beginning of the end. I loved my boys I worked with at the camp, and we had some special memories. Pretty sure no matter how old I am, I will always remember the night we picked up some tall boys and ended up doing donuts while my friend Bon drove in a dirt field singing “Freebird” at the top of our lungs.

But anyways back to that night. I don’t remember much of that night before the incident, but I do remember pre gaming at our friend Matt’s house who happened to be a local. Between 5 of us we finished a jug of Captain Morgan and also a 30 block of Coors light, so needless to say we got drunk.

I do remember the house party, and what I do remember pretty much can be summed up in two sentences:
• Straight vomited on a strangers carpet which no one noticed.
• Passed out outside and woke up with a girls bare ass shaking in my face.

So yea, I passed out… But hell I was hammered! Well I remember going back to sleep after the slut shook her bare ass in my face, but after that the details are hazy. According to friends Ryan started shit with some people, and decided he was going to take me and our friend Bon home because it wasn’t safe at the house.

I still laugh at that to this day. I do remember him waking me up and saying we needed to leave, but I was so drunk at the time I couldn’t care less. Well we all get in the car and to this day I am so thankful I wore a seatbelt, because if I didn’t I am sure I wouldn’t be alive to tell this story.

*spoiler alert*

This is the part I will never forget. I fell asleep as he left, and I was woken up because of a sudden jolt. I opened my eyes to my car being mid air as we were about to come to a crash landing. The car hit, and the driver starts crying as my friend laid unconscious in the back seat.

What the hell happened!?! Where were we. Mind you we were in Tehachapi where there are only a few street lights and thankfully even less cops. I had never sobered up faster in my life, but yet the driver turned into a little girl. All he could do was cry out “I’m sorry man, I’m sorry” and eventually he just passed out.

So here we were in the middle of no where with a damaged car and little hope. Thankfully we had our local friend, but the only problem is with no street signs I had no idea where we were. It took him 2 long hours to find us, but thankfully he did before the cops found us.

As we drove back to camp, I was in a state a shock, my car was totaled and I knew I had to deal with the repercussions. I drank way too much and left my safety in the hands of someone who never got his life together. We did manage to sneak back into camp and our cabins, but word quickly spread the next morning of what happened.

I remember being way to hungover to even acknowledge the parents the next morning, and couple that with the fact I knew my car was fucked zero fucks were given. Well later that day after the campers left myself and two of my 3 friends, minus Ryan, were summoned to the main office. We all knew this wasn’t good, and it was time to face the music.

Well needless to say they found out the details, and they weren’t happy. We fucked up of course, and I will never deny that. The one thing I will never understand is that they knew Ryan was the one that decided to drive and crash, but he was not fired. We obviously were all fired and escorted off the camp site.

So there I stood, no car no money and nothing to do. Thankfully my friend Matt, the local guy who found us that night, was gracious enough to let us stay with him for a week. His parents were getting ready to sell the house, so they were not living there so we had the run of the place. Matt saved my ass that week, and I will be forever grateful to him for that.

The next day we had to go find the car and get it towed, and wow was just an interesting experience on its own. I had told my dad that my friend had crashed the car so he knew that happened, but he did not know the extent of the damage. To be honest he didn’t know the extent because I didn’t know how bad it really was either. I knew we hit a transformer and were on a dirt road, but that was really it.

So me and my friend Matt went to get the car, and holy crap seeing the car was a surreal experience. We pull up and the first thing we notice is the “dirt road” where the car was located was actually someone’s long driveway. How they didn’t notify the authorities I will never understand, but hell it worked for me. The front in was completely smashed in from the impact of the landing, and one of the rims in from literally broke into 3 pieces. This was steel, so yea. Well the tow truck guy met us, and he was a character straight out of Redneck USA.

First off he was drinking jack and coke in a cup in his car and listening to Nascar. By my estimations he had not showered I’m 4-5 years, so having to ride in the tow truck was torture. But he didn’t ask any questions and towed the car to Matt’s house without incident, so I was grateful for that.

I couldn’t bare to tell my parents that I got fired along with crashing the car, so I decided to go HAM for that week and just crash with Matt. I had a few firsts that week, but the big one was I tried cocaine for the first time. Now I wish the story was good, but I was drunk the first time I did it. So we were drinking tequila, I did a line and fell asleep like 20 minutes later. Fucking exciting right?!?!

Well the next morning we did some more, and that was more of a rush. I was sober this time, and I swear I skateboarded for about 5 hours at the local park. That week was fun, but in the back of my head was constant fear because I knew my dad was going to come pick me up at the end of the week. I knew I had to get my enjoyment in, because there would not be much enjoyment for a while after. Well dad came with a flatbed for the car, and yea he was not too thrilled. That was the most awkward 3 hour car ride of my life. Nothing makes you feel smaller than being frozen out in a closed space for that long.

So my summer ended with crashing my car, losing my job while burning a bridge with the guy that got it for me, and dealing with the fact my whore girlfriend had started dating someone else without even thinking about me. So that was my summer of 2006. I learned a valuable lesson that summer: some people just aren’t worth keeping in your life, and sometimes the worst thing to happen can be the best thing for you.

*Changed Ryan’s real name.. FYI

Fake Baby Mama Drama.. PT 1

I really dont even know where to begin with this…..but this is a cautionary tale. I learn two major lessons:

  • Once a crazy bitch, always a crazy bitch
  • No matter how lonely things get, its better to grind it out then play with fire.

Most of you know the story about THE ex. We “dated” on and off for the better part of 3 years, and it was only a healthy relationship for about 3 months or so. After that it was a revolving door of other guys she would lie to me about, and my young dumbass was too in love to accept the fact she treated me like shit. Then she got engaged, and for a while I continued to put up with the lies because she was a girl who would pay attention to me.

Well after he finally was smart enough to break off the engagement, it was on to another guy for her. At this point I was living in LA county but would spend most nights at her apartment. Most of these nights were spent alone, but I really liked her neighbors so I didn’t mind it all too much. So every night it was me, taking care of her dog while she hung out at her co-workers. I can’t recall the exact moment of clarity, but one day I just reached it and walked out on her. It was such a liberating moment, and from that moment on I decided I would never let her control me again like she did. It was such an emotional drain, and after the fact I realized how stupid I was.

Well I messed up and let the evil one back into my life, and it has been nothing but stress since I did it. It all started again in October, when while bored and lonely during the overnight shift I reached out to her via Facebook. O the evils of Facebook, it is so easy to reconnect with people you know you have no business talking to. Couple that with working overnight and living alone you can easily make horrible decisions you would not make otherwise. Well we chatted for a little bit and it was actually a pleasant convo, which I found surprising because I had not talked to her in a long time. At this point it had been at least a year, which only happened because of another Facebook interaction.

Well when I was in Orange County for Thanksgiving, I stopped by her apartment to say hi. It was a short hangout, but once again it was a good time so I started to think she had changed, which was stupid on my part. Next thing I knew, she was coming down on a regular basis. We would watch movies, drink, and she would take me out to dinner. I am always team broke, but she is pretty well off so I was cool with the free stuff. Through all of this I made a point to tell her that this was nothing more then a casual thing, and we were not in a relationship. I reminded her of the pain she caused me, and while I was enjoying the time together I was still emotionally closed off to her. She took me to a Chargers game, and that is when I saw the writing on the wall. She spent the whole day trying to hold my hand and get romantic in front of my friends, and when I refused she got mad. 

Well I brushed that day off and blamed it on the alcohol, and started to make excuses on why we couldn’t hang out. Then all of a sudden she told me she got a job in San Diego and would be moving down, and that was when I knew I was in too deep. I should have cut ties then, but instead she offered me a good amount of money to stay with me for two weeks in February. My job doesn’t pay the greatest right now, so I am always struggling to make ends meet. This money was going to help me out, so I agreed. Well we hung out once or twice in January, and she started acting different. Always trying to cuddle, sending me texts saying she missed me, and getting mad when I did not respond. This whole time I was able to keep myself closed off emotionally, but she obviously was in love with me and wanting more.

Right before she moved in, we had a sit down at her hotel room in Orange County. I explained my side, saying I made a mistake by letting this go on and that I was confident I would never be able to love her. It was hard, because I am the type of person who hates giving bad news. I was direct, but she was in denial. She said I was just doing what other people wanted me to do, and that I wasn’t being true to my feelings. She would not listen, but I did say she could still stay with me because I knew she needed too.

So here we were, staying under the same roof. It was awkward, she did not start working like she said. Instead saying her start date had been delayed due to medical issues. Still don’t know what those were, but I just shrugged it off. She would sit on the couch all day and drink, and I started to dread coming home from work. She continued to text me all those lovey dovey things, and I did my best to not respond. This would obviously make her mad, and I just continued to remind her this wasn’t a relationship. So I was drinking/smoking almost every day because I needed to do something to keep myself from being annoyed. Obviously that was the wrong decision, because that would lead to me making horrible decisions like having sex with her. But hey, I am a guy. If you throw yourself at me and I have had a few, it is not in my DNA to say no.

So I know what I did wrong, and I understood the mixed messages. But when I was sober I would always say the same thing. “This isn’t a relationship, and I know I do not love you.” Well most of the time she was too drunk to listen, so it was like talking to a wall.

Well the Saturday before Valentines Day, I had an entire day of events planned after work. I went to Padres Fanfest, then the Aztecs game, then had a birthday party to go to. She was under the impression she was going to, but that was not the case. I told her she was not welcomed, and that I just wanted to go out with my friends. I was rude about it, but instead of being direct I was hoping she would get the message that this was never going to be anything. Well I had such an amazing day, but in the process got really drunk. The last thing I remember from that night is being at my friends house, but yet I woke up at home naked in bed. I knew this could not be good. That next morning I was miserably hungover, and she was all giddy. Shit! What did I do… Well according to her I came home, said all this romantic stuff and we had “amazing” sex.

Alcohol: Why you do me so wrong?

Well the next couple days were awkward, as I tried to push her away she was trying to get closer and closer. Things came to a breaking point the day before Valentines Day, as she kept trying to make plans for V-Day and I just reminded her I did not want to celebrate it with her. Well I went out and watched a soccer match with my friend, and when she asked to go I told her she could not because in my words: I wanted to have a good time.

I had become more and more mean, and I knew this would lead to bad things. Well when I came home after work on V-Day, she greeted me with candles and was just trying to act so romantic, and it really pissed me off. I told her I would go furniture shopping with her, and while there she kept implying to the worker that we were moving somewhere together and we this and we that. I sat there quiet and was texting a friend the play by play, and thats when I decided…. I needed to end this, and I needed to do it now. Things were way out of hand, and I was losing control of the situation…..

To be continued.

Recent Insomnia

I have not been sleeping well for the past week, and I think a lot of it has to do with the fact I am away from my home and my own bed. I do miss my room, my bed, and my dogs.

But I have been doing a lot of self searching and think there is a part of me that hates the fact when I go home I am not going home to someone. Everyone in my class is married and has kids and this is constantly brought up in our daily conversations. I always just stay quiet because I am ashamed that I don’t share those same situations. I just need to tell myself that it is not the end of the world that I don’t have that person to go home to. I guess with the rushed maturity I have been in I feel I am growing up and missing something cruical, but I just need to remind myself I havent found it yet…and somewhere that someone is out there for me..

Gonna try to sleep now, hopefully writing this out can clear my head.

Its been awhile

I have been ignoring this side of my blog, and I am not sure why. Writing has always been a way of venting and relieving stress for me. This will change.

This might be the greatest comic ever!!
Found it in the magazines we are dropping to hotel guests for a food convention.
Amazing

This might be the greatest comic ever!! Found it in the magazines we are dropping to hotel guests for a food convention. Amazing

nathanieljames:

Make Yourself At Home | The Starting Line

Here’s a story I’m still bitter about: Chris, a few friends, and I were supposed to see these guys open for Sum 41 at The Palladium a few years back, but one of our other friends was running late, as per usual, so we only caught the tail-end of the last song of their set.

God I remember being so bitter about that, it was a rough day for me too. I’m sure you don’t remember but that day I got busted by the rents for the sticky icky. I remember walking in as Starting Line was halfway through “Best of Me”

GPOYW: everyone loves puppies edition!

GPOYW: everyone loves puppies edition!

grby:
fuckyeahblink-182: (via fuckyeahhoppus)
God they put on such a good show Thursday night, had such at great time at the show. Love that they still are vulgar as all hell. Travis’ hanging drum part was absolutely amazing

grby:

fuckyeahblink-182: (via fuckyeahhoppus)

God they put on such a good show Thursday night, had such at great time at the show. Love that they still are vulgar as all hell. Travis’ hanging drum part was absolutely amazing